The Torch

Maybe it is the time of year, maybe it is because some of my friends are leaving, maybe it is because I have had some time away to get perspective, but I am becoming increasingly aware of where we are in this four year cycle. Pictures of 2012 are starting to look old and even videos from 2013 seem dated. Yesterday, I read my all of my journals from 2012, 2013 and spring/summer 2014. It's encouraging to track the progress, to see the numbers improving slowly but consistently over time. The journals are all different and unique in their own way; whether it be the type of paper, the type of cover, the type of pen I used, or  the important races or training sessions recounted. Despite their differences, the common thread woven through all of them is day to day urgency and intention. That doesn't mean everything was hard, it just means that it is obvious that there was and still is purpose and intention to everything. Yes, of course, this may be because I rarely include things that don't relate to rowing, like how many times I have eaten McDonald's this year or how many beers I drank after racing was over in Amsterdam, but that is probably just as well.

I woke up this morning to the first frost of the year and to the sounds of Kyle packing up his car. It was as good as an alarm clock telling me that summer is over. I looked around and remembered what is was like waking up in my room for the first time in the Fall of 2012. Kyle, Phil, and I had just moved in to our new digs and we couldn't have been more excited. It was obviously the beginning of something special. We couldn't believe our view of Mt. Mansfield, the proximity of our rooms to each other, and the size of our bathtub. It seemed like the bathtub was installed just for Coach Roock. In our friendship, we all found what we had been missing since college. Yes we were training partners, but we grew to be much more than that. We had breakfast together, we trained together, we ate lunch together, we talked about going to the Olympics together, we made it through Vermont winters together, we split wood together, we jokingly complained to each other how stupid it was that we were in our early twenties and living in Northern Vermont.  Kyle is moving on to the real world and to his lovely girlfriend, Lindsay. I think he is doing the right thing, but selfishly I wish he would stay. We are all going to miss him like crazy. I definitely write this with a heavy heart and with every word realize more that he is actually gone. 

  Rewind back to the Fall of 2012, when I first met Kyle and Phil( and Phil G, but he lived in a different house that year). I remember feeling like I was the luckiest man in the world living with these guys, training hard, but also having a total blast. After 2011-2012, a year of working and training harder than I ever have, struggling with my weight, and enduring the massive disappointment of LM2x AND LM1x Trials, I was given this amazing opportunity in Vermont to live simply, train well, work hard, eat well, sleep well, and see just how fast I could get a boat to go.  I retreated to the woods of Craftsbury because I needed to reintroduce myself to myself. I felt like I had strayed away from what made me a great athlete and I needed to find it again. That Fall was about getting out of my own way. It took some time to strip away the bad habits that I had picked up from being a struggling lightweight. Some days I succeeded, some days I didn't, but each day that went by, each day that my actions reflected my goals, I got a little closer to the athlete and person I thought I might be able to be. I thought a lot about how I was just  surviving the previous year and decided that if I was going to continue on I would never just be surviving, I would be thriving. I decided that if I were going to be fast, I would need to pursue excellence in everything in my life, not just the sport of rowing. Then, and only then, might I flirt with reaching my potential. I decided that if I was going to continue on, I would never look at racing as something that I dreaded, instead I would live for it. With the help of many people that Fall including my brother Peter and Lynn Jennings, I decided that the Olympic experience is one of the most special things in the world and this go around, unlike in 2011, I would know, fully understand,  what I am fighting for. Most importantly, I told myself I would never forget two things: 

1. How much I struggled.

2. I am as strong as I believe I am. 

Fast forward two years, five journals, hundreds of blog posts, and millions of strokes, the pre-Olympic year is upon us. Just like that, it is the 2014-2015 season. I am not sure what boat we will be rowing this year but I plan on making it go unexplainably fast. I got back to Craftsbury this past weekend and have been slowly ascending back to a full training load. It's always humbling coming back and seeing just how slow you can get in three weeks. My first piece back was yesterday at the Head of the Hosmer. I actually felt like I had a decent row even though I ended up tying( yes, tying) with Hugh. I rowed with a set of experimental blades that Dick dropped off and while they felt decent, I think I was giving up some speed by using them.  All in all, it was a good effort and  Hugh is no slouch, especially over longer distances. 

Tomorrow I will head down to Boston to race the Head of the Kevin on Sunday morning. It is a race that Riverside BC puts on every few weeks as prep for the Charles. I really appreciate them letting me come down. I need all of the steering advice I can get! 

Kyle and I post Craftsbury Marathon 2012. Tangerine swirl plus SWEATCICLES!