The inspiration for the this blog definitely began with Drew Ginn's blog, Rudderfish. I loved reading his descriptions of his training and then his more esoteric insights to the rowing stroke. I would say I have grown to appreciate Megan Kalmoe's even more than Ginn's. She provides incredibly well-written and level headed insights into probably the most competitive team in all of rowing, the US women's team. Amidst the chaos of selection and high level racing, she still somehow seems to always take the time to appreciate her situation and to enjoy the process, no matter the results. I doubt she was born that way, I am sure her mindset has evolved over many trials and tribulations, over many successes and failures, but even so, it is a very wise person that can learn, adapt, and simultaneously observe those transformations . I thought her latest post, The one I didn't want to write, was her best. The way she separated out her different and sometimes conflicting feelings is brilliant and is something I am struggling with right now. She mentions in her first paragraph,
"I even thought, I don’t have to write about it. I thought, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. And I don’t. I don’t have to write it, and I don’t have to explain anything. NSR selection is as transparent and completely out-there as anything else that we do on the National Team."
It's true. The results speak for themselves. Our quad lost the NSR. Looking at the result is about as cut and dry as it gets. What I have been struggling with for the last week now is asking myself whether that result reflected our preparation or not? If we performed in accordance with our preparation than that is all we can ever ask for. After some time to myself, it is a bit of a complicated answer. Rewind to a year ago. Ben and I had just won NSR 2 in the M2x, Steve and Peter were a very competitive 3rd place and we decided to spend the next month rowing the M4x to see how it went. We didn't necessarily intend to row the 4x forever, but we wanted to see how our two doubles meshed and how we might stack up against others, domestically and internationally. We pretty much only rowed the 4x for a month. We did pieces against college 8's, we had ups and downs, but on the macro level, the boat was coming along well. We were continually intrigued by our speed and excited by it. We showed up to race the 4x for the first time with a solid month of training in that lineup under our belts. That is mostly a commentary on how the two years differed schedule-wise. This year we were required to be ready sooner and needed to accommodate for that in our preparation. This year, partially due to injury but mostly due to lack of forethought and planning regarding the aforementioned scheduling differences, we spent 6 days in the 4x lineup that we raced at NSR 2. This lineup showed very promising early speed but it didn't get a chance to go through the month long quad only camp last years boat when through. This was what I was referring to when I mentioned in my last post that we were both excited and nervous. Nervous because with that short of preparation, you cannot go through the necessary peaks and valleys that a crew needs to work out some kinks. For instance, we had never rowed in a direct crosswind together. When we faced it last Thursday when it counted, we didn't have any experience to draw upon, didn't know how to respond collectively, and rowed on the buoy line the entire race. Preparation is king and we proved it by not preparing well and losing. In some ways I am happy we lost. It supports what I was taught and came to believe about the sport. It cannot be cheated, even by the very skilled. If we had won that race, it would have legitimized the preparation we had done specifically in the quad and that would have bothered me. The California boat had been in that lineup for more than two months and had been racing every weekend in an effort to show up to NSR 2 at their best. I am happy that the type of determination and preparation that they showed in the months leading up to this race ended up paying off for them. They deserve to test their speed overseas and I wish them the best. Now, do I think we have a boat capable of winning that race last thursday? Absolutely. With a smarter lead-up, no doubt. Thats the very tough part to write. It was difficult to not have Steve 100% and to not have been able to pick up where we left off last year. I was sure that moving Steve to three seat was a big change for our boat and could have us running at the front of the pack this year. That's not out of the question for the future, but for now, Steve is still healing and on the mend. As I read back over what I just wrote, I would agree with the sentiments of Megan Kalmoe, that this was the blog post I didn't want to write, but maybe somewhere deep down feared I might have to.
The last week has been very hard. Everyone feels let down. It makes it harder having two brothers and a family that is emotionally invested in the boat. I feel like its important to embrace these feelings, but this is not the end, and we all need to move forward. This may be a good reminder to all of us the importance of every day we are lucky enough to train. It's not training, its preparation. It's important to prepare specifically, not just mindlessly train. I want to recommit myself to the spirit in which this blog was started with. The spirit of improvement and unbridled enthusiasm for doing everything, not just rowing, to the best of my ability. I think in the midst of trying to select a team boat or even in just rowing in a bigger boat, some of that self awareness of the your impact to the boat is lost. Rowing the single as hard as you can presents a very honest appraisal of how your mind, body, and soul, are working together or not. I enjoy that integrity.
So for now, Ben and I are back in the 2x. We will be racing World Cup 2 in Varese, Italy( June 19-21) and World Cup 3 in Lucerne, Switzerland( July 10-12). We have put any delusions of self-importance behind us, never again will I ever say to Ben after a piece, "that was fast". We want to commit to our process and trust it always. I am excited to race this boat internationally again because I trust our racing instincts and I think it is a boat that responds well to pressure and rises to the occasion. Its impossible to know whether we'll be quick enough to qualify top 7( which would qualify us for World Champs.) but no matter what we will learn a lot by putting our best up against the fastest doubles in the world. We will then assess and move forward going into either Trials or World Champs. We fly out June 12 for Italy. Three weeks of wood splitting and double sculling before we head off. Thanks to everyone who supports us out there. While I struck a somber tone at times, please know that I have trouble staying down for too long. I enjoy this stuff too much to be sad. To complete the Megan Kalmoe references for this post, "Long live the dream. "
"I even thought, I don’t have to write about it. I thought, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. And I don’t. I don’t have to write it, and I don’t have to explain anything. NSR selection is as transparent and completely out-there as anything else that we do on the National Team."
It's true. The results speak for themselves. Our quad lost the NSR. Looking at the result is about as cut and dry as it gets. What I have been struggling with for the last week now is asking myself whether that result reflected our preparation or not? If we performed in accordance with our preparation than that is all we can ever ask for. After some time to myself, it is a bit of a complicated answer. Rewind to a year ago. Ben and I had just won NSR 2 in the M2x, Steve and Peter were a very competitive 3rd place and we decided to spend the next month rowing the M4x to see how it went. We didn't necessarily intend to row the 4x forever, but we wanted to see how our two doubles meshed and how we might stack up against others, domestically and internationally. We pretty much only rowed the 4x for a month. We did pieces against college 8's, we had ups and downs, but on the macro level, the boat was coming along well. We were continually intrigued by our speed and excited by it. We showed up to race the 4x for the first time with a solid month of training in that lineup under our belts. That is mostly a commentary on how the two years differed schedule-wise. This year we were required to be ready sooner and needed to accommodate for that in our preparation. This year, partially due to injury but mostly due to lack of forethought and planning regarding the aforementioned scheduling differences, we spent 6 days in the 4x lineup that we raced at NSR 2. This lineup showed very promising early speed but it didn't get a chance to go through the month long quad only camp last years boat when through. This was what I was referring to when I mentioned in my last post that we were both excited and nervous. Nervous because with that short of preparation, you cannot go through the necessary peaks and valleys that a crew needs to work out some kinks. For instance, we had never rowed in a direct crosswind together. When we faced it last Thursday when it counted, we didn't have any experience to draw upon, didn't know how to respond collectively, and rowed on the buoy line the entire race. Preparation is king and we proved it by not preparing well and losing. In some ways I am happy we lost. It supports what I was taught and came to believe about the sport. It cannot be cheated, even by the very skilled. If we had won that race, it would have legitimized the preparation we had done specifically in the quad and that would have bothered me. The California boat had been in that lineup for more than two months and had been racing every weekend in an effort to show up to NSR 2 at their best. I am happy that the type of determination and preparation that they showed in the months leading up to this race ended up paying off for them. They deserve to test their speed overseas and I wish them the best. Now, do I think we have a boat capable of winning that race last thursday? Absolutely. With a smarter lead-up, no doubt. Thats the very tough part to write. It was difficult to not have Steve 100% and to not have been able to pick up where we left off last year. I was sure that moving Steve to three seat was a big change for our boat and could have us running at the front of the pack this year. That's not out of the question for the future, but for now, Steve is still healing and on the mend. As I read back over what I just wrote, I would agree with the sentiments of Megan Kalmoe, that this was the blog post I didn't want to write, but maybe somewhere deep down feared I might have to.
The last week has been very hard. Everyone feels let down. It makes it harder having two brothers and a family that is emotionally invested in the boat. I feel like its important to embrace these feelings, but this is not the end, and we all need to move forward. This may be a good reminder to all of us the importance of every day we are lucky enough to train. It's not training, its preparation. It's important to prepare specifically, not just mindlessly train. I want to recommit myself to the spirit in which this blog was started with. The spirit of improvement and unbridled enthusiasm for doing everything, not just rowing, to the best of my ability. I think in the midst of trying to select a team boat or even in just rowing in a bigger boat, some of that self awareness of the your impact to the boat is lost. Rowing the single as hard as you can presents a very honest appraisal of how your mind, body, and soul, are working together or not. I enjoy that integrity.
So for now, Ben and I are back in the 2x. We will be racing World Cup 2 in Varese, Italy( June 19-21) and World Cup 3 in Lucerne, Switzerland( July 10-12). We have put any delusions of self-importance behind us, never again will I ever say to Ben after a piece, "that was fast". We want to commit to our process and trust it always. I am excited to race this boat internationally again because I trust our racing instincts and I think it is a boat that responds well to pressure and rises to the occasion. Its impossible to know whether we'll be quick enough to qualify top 7( which would qualify us for World Champs.) but no matter what we will learn a lot by putting our best up against the fastest doubles in the world. We will then assess and move forward going into either Trials or World Champs. We fly out June 12 for Italy. Three weeks of wood splitting and double sculling before we head off. Thanks to everyone who supports us out there. While I struck a somber tone at times, please know that I have trouble staying down for too long. I enjoy this stuff too much to be sad. To complete the Megan Kalmoe references for this post, "Long live the dream. "
Thanks for the post, John. Clearly not the result you wanted but you'll use it to your advantage. Kick ass in Europe and best of luck to your Craftsbury team.
ReplyDeletePatrick